Many people do not realize that they have suffered trauma. We have come to believe that only severe trauma (such as witnessing a death or a terrible accident, severe abuse, or being in a war) can cause problems in mental and physical health.  In reality, everyone has experienced trauma to some degree.  One definition of trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.  This can then include experiences such as:

• emotional neglect

• being bullied

• being continually criticized by a parent

• witnessing family conflict or dysfunction

• being socially isolated by peers

• being deeply embarrassed in social situations

 

Depending on the individual, all of these can have the potential of leaving lasting negative impacts in more areas than the mind alone.  The nervous system can view these situations as life threatening, and put the whole body into fight, flight, or freeze.  Emotional problems are also common like being stuck in fear/anxiety or in sadness/depression or difficulty controlling emotional reactions.  Trauma tends to cause the individual to believe negative things about themselves.  While some effects of trauma can diminish over time, often the devastating effects continue through the person's lifetime.  Time does not heal all wounds.

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More and more often, many of our mental health issues and relationship problems are actually unresolved early attachment issues continuing to play out in adulthood.  Additionally, in many cases, the ego state within us that are roughly the age and maturity of the time of trauma, have the ability to cause us to have emotions, reactions, or behaviors that don't seem to match with how we would want to respond.  These younger parts of ourselves are trying to get our attention because they are in need of healing.  The more we can connect with, accept, heal and integrate the younger parts of us, the more we are freed.

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We can become free of unresolved trauma, unresolved grief, toxic shame, and deep hurt.  This allows us to keep our nervous system from continually entering fight, flight, or freeze.  Our lives can be less controlled by chronic fear and anxiety, sadness and depression, and anger and resentment.  This healing allows us to have healthier relationships and to form more secure connections, so we can move from surviving to thriving.